What do mechanics charge to fix tires?

A Flat Rate! 

What kind of can never needs a can opener?

A Pelican! 

What driver doesn't have a license?

A Screwdriver! 

What kind of table has no legs?

A Multiplication Table!

Did you ever see the salad dressing?

No, but I saw the bacon strip!

 

What paper makes you itch?

Scratch Paper!

 

Why did you get rid of your watchdog?

He Couldn't Tell the Time!

 

 

Why did the doctor switch jobs?

He lost his patients!

What bow can't you tie?

A Rainbow!